October 2008
4 posts
catastrophe part 4: the result
To me, this situation typifies a family crisis: overreaction and competing ideas about what’s best with no measures of control in place. I look back on all the major family crises I have been involved in and most of them happened because someone was worried about someone else. It all comes from mutual concern, so why do people end up fighting with each other?
At work, we have process and...
catastrophe part 3: the knock-on
W rang my mother in a total state, which was absolutely understandable considering the circumstances. A had a life-threatening virus and they were miles away from home and the big city hospitals. Aside from being dangerously ill, A was agitated, confused, restless and generally unmanageable, which is normal behaviour for a person with a cerebral illness. Although they hardly knew each other, L and...
catastrophe part 2: the complications
1. A’s mother W is neurotic at the best of times, but particularly when it comes to baby boy A.
2. A lives in Sydney now and spends most of his time with girlfriend L, who is Canadian and away from her family and friends. A and L spend a lot of their time together at the family beach house.
3. L’s birthday was the following weekend and A had organised a surprise birthday with 20...
catastrophe part 1: the situation
There’s nothing more stressful than a good old fashioned family catastrophe. Seeing as my family seems to have these all the time, it was reassuring to witness how ineptly our family friends dealt with an horrific situation recently thrust upon them.
We have known this family our whole lives. Mum met W in the hospital when they were having me and W and R’s second child, V. They moved...
September 2008
4 posts
shagging and blogging - it gets personal
history
Girl With A One-Track Mind is a blog by a young woman living in London who writes under the pseudonym Abby Lee. Abby started writing the blog in 2004 as an outlet for and distraction from thinking about sex all the time. Her early blog entries are explicit, hilarious, insightful and shockingly honest as she lays bare intimate details about dating, shagging, masturbating and her general...
the many lives of Irving
Our family is obsessed with cats. My uncle and aunt have five cats, Mum always has at least two and, until his death in June, I had a mog called Irving. We have mostly inherited these creatures from other people who have moved or changed their living arrangement. Invariably the cat had already decided that we offer more suitable accommodation and food and gradually moved its stuff in.
This was...
them's fighting words
When you grew up in a family who fought all the time, it’s a pretty difficult habit to break. The thing is, I really hate conflict, but it seems to find me wherever I go. I look at certain situations and know the way I should react - but more often than not that goes against the grain of what I actually feel. And who I am. From a young age, I learnt not to let people walk over you and to...
green grass
My last blog post hit a major nerve with a friend. She thought my comments insensitive, offensive and deeply critical of her (relatively new) life as a newlywed with a baby. I have gone over this one in my head a million times, trying to see it from both sides. Granted the post was a major rant, but would I really hang out with couples if I had such a low opinion of their company and their lives?...
August 2008
11 posts
out on a limb
It’s happened. I have passed marriageable age. Well, 50 years ago I would have and my fate would have been sealed. These days, being 28 and still single just means I have to go to things on my own and listen to my other friends and their husbands / wives / partners, bang on about their latest mini break, real estate investment, trip to IKEA or ‘the baby’.
This is why I like...
two mums
One of my mates, let’s call her Anne, is adopted. She spent the first 34 years of her life knowing only that her adopted parents had picked her up from the hospital when she was 6 weeks old, after the cut-off date for her biological mum to change her mind about the adoption. She had no idea who her real mother was or why she gave Anne away, all she knew was that when her parents picked her...
“Kids, people are arseholes.
And the shit just keeps coming.”
– Wise words from my mother that have set me up for life.
laughing matters
How funny is Where’s Pingu?
Psycho closet lesbians, meat trays, clubs, hookers and words that no one really understands. Now that’s the stuff I want to read.
And it makes me feel better that I’m not the only one laying themselves bare.
generational pull
My mother turned 60 last week. If she were a man I’m sure she would be driving around in a BMW Z4 with personalised number plates. But as she has little interest in any car that’s not her beaten but beloved 1993 Saab, she has instead fixated herself on appliances.
The phenomenon is not exactly new. For as long as I can remember Mum has been upgrading televisions, cameras, mobile...
great ambitions
In the past week and half, we have watched countries from all over the world unite to compete. The triumphs, trials and tribulations of the Beijing Olympic athletes inspires one to think about their journey to the ultimate international sporting platform. There are a lot of proud mums and dads out there right now.
It was a great day for Australia when Sally McLellan won silver in the...
kids behaving badly
What is it with these celebrity kids proudly disgracing themselves in public? It all started when socialite heirs Paris and Nicky Hilton painted various towns different shades of red with accomplice Nicole Richie. Then the limelight shifted to Obsorne kids, Jack and Kelly, and singer Lily Allen. Now every time I open a trashy magazine or log onto ninemsn, I am confronted with those wayward Geldof...
not by choice
Michael Franti, American poet, composer and musician, sings in one of his ballads*:
“Don’t fear your family, because you chose them a long time before your birth.”
There are a couple of things wrong with this line. First, anyone who says ‘don’t fear your family’ has obviously not met my mother or my uncle Bill. Second, if I had been afforded the privilege of...
the Oscars
No one does drama quite like my family. Now, I know family drama is not a unique concept but we really take the cake when we get going. And 2008 has been quite the performance.
It started with a bang when my younger sister, Louise, announced her move back into the family home with me and Mum. (I had moved back in April 07 and had been stuck in reverse ever since.) In March my older sister, Sarah,...
departure
My great uncle John died last weekend. He was 92. As Bill, Mum’s brother, delivered this news to our table of five representing three generations, I thought to myself: this is the end of an era. Of course it was sad, but 92 is a bloody good innings and he at least died with some dignity. But mostly I mourned the end of an era for our family, as his death meant the end of the uncle John...
moi
Welcome to Family Matters, where you’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t. Everyone has stories so here are some of mine. And some I’ve picked up along the way.