family matters

catastrophe part 4: the result

To me, this situation typifies a family crisis: overreaction and competing ideas about what’s best with no measures of control in place. I look back on all the major family crises I have been involved in and most of them happened because someone was worried about someone else. It all comes from mutual concern, so why do people end up fighting with each other?

At work, we have process and policy to resolve conflict, and in our social lives we take a step back when the situation gets too much. But family is a completely different ball game. There are roles to be played and there is history to be repeated. And we never learn. Or worse still, we have learnt but we can’t help ourselves.

In a few months, this situation will have blown over. But what about the long term damage? The roles of mother, father, son and daughter have been reinforced. And now the girlfriend will never have the opportunity to break the stereotype that preceded her. 

The struggle for independence is an important one but you have to pick your battles. And if there’s one thing I’ve learnt, it’s that sometimes my mother really does know best, even if I don’t like to admit it.